Time to read: 3 minutes
Article at a glance:
Relationships Are Like Bank Accounts: Every interaction adds or subtracts trust—small positive actions = deposits, broken promises = withdrawals.
One-Size Doesn't Fit All: What feels like a deposit to one person might feel like a withdrawal to another; knowing each other's personalities helps make meaningful "deposits."
Build Trust, Build Strength: Showing up, following through, getting curious, and leaning into tough conversations strengthens relationships and fuels unstoppable collaboration.
If you’ve been around Redmond for a bit, you’ve probably heard someone say something like, “Our emotional bank account was high, so that conflict wasn’t a big deal.”
And maybe you’ve wondered… what exactly is an emotional bank account?
This idea comes from Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it’s one of those concepts that’s super simple but seriously powerful. The gist: every relationship is like a bank account. Positive interactions like being kind, following through, and showing up, are deposits. Negative interactions like broken promises, sharp words, and flakiness, are usually withdrawals.
When your balance is high, trust is strong. Collaboration flows. You can navigate disagreements without things blowing up. But when that account is running low? Even small bumps can feel like major roadblocks.
Here’s where it gets interesting: not all deposits and withdrawals are created equal. What feels like a huge deposit to one person might barely register to someone else (or worse, might even feel like a withdrawal).
That’s why at Redmond, we emphasize getting to really know each other. It’s a huge part of living out Ubuntu, our value that says, “I see you, I see me, and I am because we are.” We believe that the better you understand the people around you, the easier it is to make meaningful deposits into their emotional bank accounts.
Deposits Look Different for Everyone
Sure, there are a few basic “rules of thumb” when it comes to emotional bank accounts.
For example:
- Not doing what you said you’d do? Usually a withdrawal.
- Taking the time to genuinely see, hear, and understand someone? Almost always a deposit.
But beyond that? It depends.
One person might light up when you publicly recognize their work. Another might cringe and prefer a quiet, one-on-one “Hey, I appreciate you.” For some people, dropping everything to lend a hand is the biggest deposit. For others, it might be giving them space to handle it their own way.
This is exactly why we use personality tools like the 5 Love Languages, the People Code, or PAEI styles at Redmond. They're not just fun little quizzes! We use them to better understand how people feel valued, seen, and supported. When you know what speaks to someone, whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, you’re better equipped to show up for them in ways that actually land.
So, How Do You Make Deposits?
Here are a few tried-and-true ways to start:
1. Show Up. Seriously, just being there matters. Culture meetings, All Hands, team lunches, every time you engage, you’re building trust. You’re showing people they matter to you.
2. Keep Your Word. It doesn’t have to be big stuff. If you say you’ll send a follow-up, show up to a meeting, or help out, do it. Small follow-throughs build big trust.
3. Get Curious About Others. Ask questions. Listen more than you talk. Learn their work style, their strengths, their quirks. The more you understand what fills their emotional bank account, the easier it is to make deposits.
4. Lean Into the Hard Stuff. Sometimes the most powerful deposits come when you’re willing to lean into discomfort, whether listening to someone’s experience or navigating a tough conversation with empathy and Occhiolism.
At the end of the day, building a healthy emotional bank account is part of how we live Ubuntu. It’s how we make work smoother, relationships stronger, and our team unstoppable.
Because when we truly see each other, trust doesn’t just happen. It grows.
