Time to read: 4 minutes
Article at a glance:
- Chasing goals too aggressively can exhaust us and blind us to better opportunities.
- Waiting passively often stems from lack of clarity or preparation, leaving us unready when chances arise.
- “Unfolding” offers a balanced path—combining reflection, preparation, and presence with trust in the process.
- Growth comes from staying engaged, honoring today, and being open to what’s next without forcing it.
We’re often told to go for what we want and “make it happen.”
But we’re also told to let go, surrender, stop chasing, manifest, and let what’s meant for us just come to us.
So which is it? Should we aggressively chase what we want or sit back and passively let it come to us?
In our experience, chasing and being passive are equally unproductive. Here’s why:
Chasing Your Goals, or Chasing Them Away?
Have you ever tried to get your pet to cuddle with you by chasing them around? How well did that work?
Chasing takes a lot of energy. It wears us out and even if we reach our goal, we might immediately start chasing the next thing instead of celebrating where we are. We also risk scaring off whatever we want. Chasing also blinds us to possibilities and alternatives that might actually be more helpful than what we’re doing.
When we set our sights too far, we miss what’s right in front of us. We might ignore our day-to-day roles at work and in our relationships. We’re so focused on what’s next that we aren’t honoring today.
Are you waiting around?
If you never think about the future, reflect on the past, look around to understand where you are, or consider possibilities, your life is going to be pretty lackluster.
Sometimes, waiting means you don’t know what you want. Other times, you do know what you want but do nothing to get there or prepare for future opportunities.
When those opportunities arise, you’ll let them slide because you aren’t able to meet them.
So, how can you balance chasing and waiting, and maybe even find the third place between them?
You need enough clarity and conviction to pick a direction, but you also need to be nimble enough to change course or tactics when necessary.
The Balance of Unfolding
Allowing things to unfold means that we leave room for the unknown while also preparing for the future. It’s not a completely active or passive process, but a blend of the two. It requires practice so you can learn when to do which.
You’ve heard “go with the flow”, right?
While this may sound like a more passive saying, it’s actually the perfect metaphor when you think about it.
If you’re canoeing in a stream, things are going to be easiest for you if you paddle downstream with the flow of the water. You still want to steer around rocks and logs and stuff and try to stay on the best path, but generally, the water is doing most of the work.
This works a lot better than trying to paddle upstream (forcing/chasing) or just passively floating downstream with no paddles, potentially crashing into every rock and stick in the river.
The river is going to do whatever it wants, but you can show up with the right gear. You can research the river ahead of time. You can take canoeing lessons and hire a guide who knows the river. You can look at the rapids and decide this isn’t the river for you, and maybe take up birdwatching as a hobby instead.
You can’t control the river. You can only control how (and if) you show up to work with the water.
Here are some practices and mindsets to help you navigate the river and make room for things to unfold:
Reflection, understanding, clarity
Reflection allows us to see how far we’ve come, what’s working, what’s not, WHY, and where we can make improvements.
When we take the time to pause and ask ourselves the right questions to understand where we are right now, where we want to go, and whether we’re living in integrity with our values, we can consciously choose our next steps instead of just reacting our way through life.
Reflection also helps us assess, prepare for, and jump on good opportunities when they arise.
Preparation
Preparation gives us options and enables us to take advantage of good opportunities when they arrive.
This might mean Reflecting and Renewing, developing new skills, and following your interests and curiosity, even if this has nothing to do with your work.
Someday, an opportunity might arise when you get to use that skill and knowledge. But if you wait until the opportunity is right in front of you, your chance for preparation might have already passed.
“When you’re there in the place of most potential, those right answers just keep coming.”
-Dewitt Jones, “Everyday Creativity”
Keep your eyes open and honor today
Opportunities will come, and you need to recognize them when they do. All the preparation in the world won’t do much good if you aren’t paying attention and let great opportunities float away.
Love what you do AND keep your head up to pay attention. Learn. Engage with what’s in front of you. Don’t miss things.
Be helpful in your roles at work and in your personal life.
Look for problems to solve, and notice which problems you like solving.
Rather than chasing and forcing, try getting curious about the unfolding. Things may turn out better than you expected!
