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Near enemies mimic virtues. They appear helpful but actually undermine growth, connection, and contribution.
They’re hard to spot. Unlike clear opposites, near enemies like perfectionism or groupthink disguise themselves as virtues.
Redmond values have near enemies too. For example, martyrdom mimics contribution, and busyness mimics productivity.
Awareness is key. Slowing down, reflecting, and checking for connection helps steer us back to the real value.
There’s a Buddhist concept called “near enemies.” You may not know the term, but you’ve probably felt the effect.
Near enemies are traits or behaviors that look like virtues, but actually achieve the opposite effect. Instead of moving us toward connection, growth, and contribution; near enemies quietly pull us off course.
Have you heard the saying, “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good”? That’s a near enemy in action.
The Sneaky Ones: Why Near Enemies Are Harder to Spot
In contrast, a far enemy is the complete opposite and easy to identify. But near enemies are much sneakier and more harmful than opposites because they’re harder to spot. They slip in, dressed up like a virtue, but instead of helping us, they undermine us.
For example, the opposite or far enemy of love would be hate, but the near enemy of love is conditional love.
Think of near enemies as “frenemies,” things that look like our friend, but actually sabotage us.
Let's here use our core values to explore some more examples:
Passion for Contribution
The Value: Giving your best energy to work that matters, fueled by joy and service.
Near Enemy: Martyrdom, or over-giving to prove worth, leading to depletion.
Ubuntu
The Value: “I am because we are,” shared success, deep connection, uplifting others.
Near Enemy: Groupthink, or fitting in at the cost of truth, mistaking conformity for belonging.
Occhiolism
The Value: Humility about the limits of your perspective, fueling curiosity and learning.
Near Enemy: Relativism, or shrugging off clarity by saying “everything is valid,” which avoids responsibility.
Reflect
The Value: Learning from experience, pausing to connect action with purpose.
Near Enemy: Rumination, or looping on the past without movement or growth.
Renew
The Value: Resting deeply and updating our mindsets so we can continue to contribute at a higher level.
Near Enemy: Numbing or zoning out in activities that don't actually make us feel good in the long-term.
See what we mean? We might think we’re practicing the core value when, in fact, we’ve gotten sidetracked by a near enemy.
Why This Matters at Redmond
Around here, we talk about lots of new concepts, new paradigms, and different ways of working that might be new and unfamiliar. It’s easy to almost get there, but get sidetracked by a near enemy.
But by being aware of near enemies and identifying the near enemies of some of our core concepts, we can see them for what they are and hopefully, avoid them, or not get stuck there.
Here are a few examples we run into often at Redmond:
- Certainty is the near enemy of clarity.
- Perfectionism is the near enemy of great work.
- Busy-ness is the near enemy of Q1.
- Jumping to solutions is the near enemy of continuous improvement.
- Compromise is the near enemy to the Third Alternative or win-win mindset.
- Candor’s near enemy is criticism.
- People pleaseing is a near enemy to consideration.
- Collaboration’s near enemy is consensus.
- Numbing is the near enemy to Renewal.
This is only scratching the surface.
How to Identify a Near Enemy
So how do you distinguish a near enemy from the virtue you’re actually going for?
There’s no surefire test, but writer Kelly Equus puts it nicely: “You could say that the virtues or qualities themselves are based in love and connection, and the near enemies are based in fear and separation.”
In other words, virtues connect us, while near enemies breed disconnection.
Compassion brings us closer together as humans, while pity, its near enemy, separates us and makes us think, “Phew, I’m glad it’s not me.”
Certainty closes us off to possibility and new ideas, while the true value of clarity helps us move forward together while staying open to new information.
Busy-ness keeps us spinning our wheels and prevents us from collaborating to make things better. But productivity and Q2 work encourage us to observe together, make improvements, and do great work.
If you feel disconnected, numb, afraid, or uneasy, ask yourself if you’ve fallen prey to a near enemy.
If you aren’t sure if you’re on the right track, pause, get curious, and ask: Is this moving me toward connection, or away from it?
Steering Back to Connection
Near enemies don’t just distract us from virtues; they disguise themselves as virtues.
But the more we slow down, reflect, and tune into how something feels in practice (not just in theory), the easier they are to see.
The goal isn’t to eliminate all near enemies, because we’re human and we’ll never be perfect. Our aim is to notice them sooner, so we can gently steer back toward what’s real and life-elevating.
Something to Try: (options)
Notice the Feeling
If something feels “off” (disconnected, heavy, hollow, etc.) pause and explore it with curiosity.
Name One Near Enemy at Work
Pick a recent moment and reflect: Was I operating from a virtue, or something that just looked like it?
Bring It to a Team Retrospective
Try asking: Where are near enemies sneaking into our team?
